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VERSION:2.1
N:The Crown
FN:The Crown
TEL;WORK;VOICE:020 7836 2752
ADR;WORK:;;51 New Oxford St, Bloomsbury;WC1A 1BL
URL:
NOTE:As everyone knows, since Britain became a 24hr drinking culture the streets of our towns and cities have simply been too dangerous to walk down. Pubs have become nothing more than violence factories, filled with alcohol-crazed "binge drinkers" who have been quaffing unstable alcopop cocktails solidly since the law changed, and who only leave the pub to commit outrageous and random crimes on innocent passers-by. The police are so stretched by the number of alcohol-related incidents happening all the time that they no longer have the spare manpower to shoot innocent people on the Northern Line. The nation is plainly on the verge of collapse, as the Daily Mail so perceptively realised. Imagine my surprise, then, when I dared to leave my electric fence-fortified gated community somewhere in Surrey and entered one of these pits of iniquity, only to find it was full of perfectly normal people behaving perfectly normally while having a quiet drink. There were no fights, no lakes of vomit, no pancreatic explosions or livers seeking to tear themselves from their owners' bodies. Rather suspiciously, everything went on much as it had done before. It even, er, closed at 11pm. This particular gem is an unpretencious Sam Smith's boozer close to Neal Street, the British Museum and Tottenham Court Road station, very traditional in appearance and small enough to foster a real sense of intimacy. No music, TV or any of that nonense, which doubtless means the regulars are free to concentrate on binge drinking themselves into such a state that they become a threat to national security.
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