BEGIN:VCARD
VERSION:2.1
N:The Castle
FN:The Castle
TEL;WORK;VOICE:020 7553 7621
ADR;WORK:;;34-35 Cowcross St, Farringdon;EC1M 6DB
URL:
NOTE:Oh dear. Upon walking through the door I realise I've made a very, very big mistake. Not only is this a completely stupid pub, but I'm going to have to wait here for the rest of the RPF panel to turn up. That's 30 minutes of nu meeja speak, silly sunglasses and great big wobbly chins on young, overfed men. It would be enough to turn St Francis of Assisi into a serial killer.  At least this gives me time to analyse what it is I hate so much about this place. Roughly in order of noticing: 1) The tables. These come in various ill-fitting shapes and sizes, doubtless in an attempt to be interesting, and are so badly placed that a huge wasteland of laminate flooring opens up between them. Some have padded sides. 2) The chairs. The tables are complemented by an array of chairs, some of which have recently escaped from an office, others are refugees from the rear end of the '70s revival. All are oversized, and prevent any of the tables from being used by more than about two people. Consequently, there's nowhere to sit. 3) The lights. A dangly semicircular arrangement by the entranceway looks like designer haemorrhoids, and has no place in a pub. 4) The pictures. The Castle has a screen, upon which is not shown cricket or football or whatever, but assorted pictures of "cool" icons from the '30s through to the '60s, doubtless to complement the smooth jazz oozing like vomit from the speakers. Are we meant to identify with these pictures? Is it meant to make us hep and sophisticated? It certainly hasn't helped the regulars, who are pot-bellied oafs from the more odious ends of the media industry. 5) The beer. Lager, or lager, anyone? If you're really sophisticated, you can go Belgian. 6) The people. See 4). This pub has been around since the time of George IV, at the least, but on current form it deserves to be demolished as quickly as possible, preferably with all its clientele inside it.
END:VCARD